You Have Control

How many times have you walked out of a meeting, grinding your teeth because someone said something that upset you? I've seen this scenario happen a lot over the course of my career, and it usually ends up with the upset person venting to a friend or co-worker who had nothing to do with the situation. Nothing ever changes between the upset-ee and the upset-er, because they don't communicate with each other.

I experienced this earlier this week. I left a meeting and was steaming mad at one particular participant. While this person had valuable things to say, they were rude and condescending, and their behavior really insulted me. I ranted to my family for a while, but it didn't help. So I sat down and wrote a very polite email to this person. I explained that I valued their input, and that I wanted to work with them, but that they had been condescending.

I didn't demand an apology, I didn't use any harsh language. I sincerely thanked them for their comments (which I really did appreciate), and stated my issue with their behavior. Once I clicked the Send button for that email, it felt like a huge weight lifted off me, and my mood improved dramatically.

So remember, you can't control other people, but you can control yourself. I tried to handle the situation with diplomacy, and while the jury's still out on what the outcome will be, I felt better because I actively did something. So next time someone gets you riled up during a meeting, step back and think about what you can do to take a measure of control in the situation.